Month 1 - Fresh start
Yup, you read that right. I tried hypnosis, y’all. But to be clear, I wasn’t on a stage, and I’m not going to cluck like a chicken whenever anyone says rutabaga. At least I don’t think I will. Please don’t call me and leave me rutabaga voice mails.
Just to be safe.
In getting ready for my new year of bucket list items, I wanted a theme. Something to build my new things around. I’ve done a lot of different things in the last 10 years since my first bucket list (oh good lawd, it’s been 10 years!), so picking things at random didn’t seem to be a good fit this time around. Not to mention I've already done a good chunk of the standard bucket list fare (skydiving...check....hot air ballooning, check...) So, I’m going to be doing things that are good for me. Good for my soul, my head and my heart. Things that challenge me, make me a better person or just plain make me happy.
At least that’s my goal. Who knows what this could evolve into over the next 12 months. And while I plan on doing at least 1 thing per month, it could be 3, 6, 25, who knows? I plan on taking this journey wherever the wind blows me.
So yeah, hypnosis. I’ll admit that my experience with hypnosis is limited to what I’ve seen on TV and movies, with a preconceived notion that it’s cheesy and probably fake. But, you know me, I’ll try all kinds of stuff for the sake of the blog. Plus, I found a Groupon with a hell of a deal, so I figured why the hell not.
Fast forward to today, and I’ll admit that I was hella nervous. Not necessarily for the actual hypnosis part, but for the conversation leading up to it. I’m not great about opening up to people about things, let alone a stranger I’ve met for .00004 seconds. But, these sessions aren’t just for shits and giggles. He wasn’t going to hypnotize me to break dance whenever it’s 4:48pm. I had to have a reason. Something I was looking to change in my life. Or fix. Or improve. Or whatever it might be. So, yeah, digging into what I want to "fix", what I want to get out of this was tough. Tougher than I ever thought it would be.
I won’t really get into what I decided upon, because yeah, that’s between me and Mr. Hypnotist. But, we spent a good 30 minutes this time around talking through my thoughts, experiences and feelings regarding a few situations. He asked a ton of questions to try to get to the root of my “fix”; some were easy to answer, others required me to go deep into the vault of emotions I usually keep hidden away in that dusty corner of my mind. It was unpleasant, to be sure, but I tried to open up, knowing it could hopefully only benefit me in the process. If it really even works. He has incredible reviews, but I’m always the skeptic, and this time was no different.
After our conversation, he directed me to a recliner to make myself as comfortable as possible while he got everything prepped. He even added in a blanket and some beach sounds to set the relaxation mood. Anyone else think this is weird so far? Good, we’re on the same page then.
Be more open to things, Heather.
Got it.
But then I started to get nervous about the actual hypnotizing part. A sure fire physical way to determine if I’m nervous is to see if my legs are shaking. Particularly my hamstrings. It’s an involuntary muscle flexing that I can’t control when I’m super nervous. It happens with the rest of my body too, but starts mostly there. Yes, I realize this is weird, but also uncontrollable. Once I was reclined and tucked in with my blankie and he was prepping his notes, I tensed up, and the shaking began.
But I could not get it to stop. Not even when he’s doing his relaxation chatter. Or counting me down. Or encouraging me to relax everything. I’m not even fully sure I completely stopped, though it did slow down a great deal. I suppose maybe I relaxed somewhat, but probably not fully.
I’ll tell you hypnosis is not at all what I was expecting. I remember the entire thing. I guess maybe I was expecting to wake from a trance like state having no recollection of the past 30 minutes (like when they put you under to pull your wisdom teeth), but feel like a new better me. Instead, I somewhat subconsciously fought the relaxation exercise, zoned out to what he was saying a few times and kept waiting to “wake up”.
He asked me after if I felt heavy or light, and I told him neither. He was startled saying that when he lifted my hand it was really heavy. I remember him doing that and figured I was supposed to let it be heavy. He’s convinced I was hypnotized, though he chuckled that he had to change his tactics for the relaxation portion. He caught on pretty quickly that I like to be in control and obviously he could tell I was not taking those relaxation cues very well. Shocking.
I suppose it’s certainly possible that I was indeed hypnotized because maybe my preconceived opinion of what it would be like was utter bs. I mean, I have no experience, so it’s unfair to judge this one time on what I THOUGHT it would be like.
It didn’t last that long, but that’s likely because of the amount of time we spent in discussion first. He also had a tough time cracking this nut into relaxing, but I do remember his affirmations and suggestions for the concerns I was having. I remember all of it. He recorded it just in case I didn’t, and he wants me to listen to it every day for a few days (but not while driving or operating heavy machinery, obvi).
It was over before I knew it, and even though I was to have been fully relaxed, I was emotionally exhausted, just feeling very raw and exposed. And I felt exactly the same. He said most people can experience a change within minutes or up to 72 hours after a session. I suppose that can be a pretty standard response for people who don’t actually think this stuff is real.
He’s to call me in a few days and then he’ll see if it’s working or if we need to adjust the theme before the next session. Oh yeah, I bought the Groupon for 3 sessions, which were altogether cheaper than 1 normal session.
Until next time!
July 30, 2018 - Hypnosis Session #2
So, our schedules never meshed well to get this in within 2 weeks of the first session, so I'm hoping that's not a detriment to any "progress" to be made. But, I never truly felt like I "got" it from the previous session. I don't know how to describe it, but I'm going to mostly blame it on myself for not being able to relax. Hypnosis is all about reprogramming the mind and adjusting your mindset. Well, when you fight the reprogramming, it's not hard to understand why it didn't take.
I hoped for better things this time around, and also decided to focus our efforts on something else entirely. An energy boost. I've been feeling pretty sluggish lately – both emotionally and physically – so, I felt like a kick in the pants might do the trick. If he can even help with that.
He seemed pretty discouraged (and a bit unconvinced) when I told him that I didn't really feel all that different from the previous session. I'm sure he's used to having a pretty high success rate, but I still don't blame that entirely on him. So, I told him that I wanted to redirect my efforts. Not because what we talked about last time wasn't important, but I already have those affirmations recorded and can listen to them anytime. I wanted to try a new approach, and something that was a bit easier for my subconscious to tackle.
So, back to my lethargy. He suggested an energy boost session to help get me more motivated on my down time. With the new job (which I'm absolutely loving, btw), it's been a bit more mentally draining than I'm used to, so my nights and weekends have been more about catching up on sleep and relaxing than actually getting much accomplished. Hence today's session, which I now refer to as a B12 shot straight to the ol' noggin.
Our talk was much more brief this time around, and mainly he just asked me questions to see how I solve problems and attack projects. Turns out, I'm analytical, by the way. Probably pretty easy to figure that one out.
I headed back to the chair, settled in with the blanket and beachy wave sounds (he had other choices, but Amazonian frog chirps really don't put me into a relaxing mood). No nervous shakes this time around! I felt considerably more relaxed right from the get go, and it didn't take him nearly as long to put me "under".
Which felt SO WEIRD. Like, I knew where I was, what I was doing, etc., but when he suggested I try to open my eyes but wouldn't be able to because they were too heavy, I COULDN'T OPEN MY EYES. And in my brain, I knew that I could if I really wanted to, but yet I still couldn't. And I knew I was hypnotized. Or something was happening. And it was incredibly bizarre. Because I still didn't want to believe it. Even though it was literally happening to me right at that moment. (For the record, I always opened my eyes in Session #1)
He launched in to his affirmations about having energy when I come home from work, and that I'll feel energized to get more things done, blah blah blah. But, yet when my head hits the pillow, I'll know that it's time to shut it down and go to sleep (so very glad he added that in there or I might have turned in to the Energizer bunny!) He also suggested that red will be an energizing color for me, and that whenever I need an energy boost throughout the day, just seek out something red.
This one lasted just shy of 20 minutes, and I felt leaving refreshed, yet not really energetic just yet. My homework assignment was to listen to it three days in a row again to lock it in to memory. That night when I went to bed, I woke up inexplicably at 4:30am. This isn't entirely uncommon if I have to use the bathroom. But, it happened the next night and the next (the last one being at 1:30am and 4:30). Okay, this is not what I had in mind. I thought I was supposed to shut everything down when my head hit the pillow? Does my brain think that I need to take that literally. Like, I need to punch the pillow with my head? (Totally kidding here, I'm not going to head butt my pillow.)
I wasn't feeling 100% energized just yet, but it was also the end of the week when I'm usually drained. I chalked it up to maybe this stuff won't work for me. But then Saturday dawned, and I accomplished more in one day that I think I've accomplished in the last month. Besides numerous chores and working out, I painted my entire kitchen. Top to bottom. Two coats. By myself. And I didn't stop until the late night hours when it was all finished.
And then I started early the next morning, removed the tape, and touched up nearly every foot of trim with a tiny artist's paintbrush (the thing about old houses is that the molding isn't even, so it's impossible to tape it cleanly...and I'm a messy painter), not to mention a dozen or so other chores.
I realize that this may not sound like much to a lot of people. Parents out there do this much and more when their kids are running around. I'm not saying I did the most work in the entire world this weekend, I'm just saying that I did more than I have in a long time, and it felt great to get so much accomplished. I'm effing exhausted (still waking up in the middle of the night which is no bueno), but I feel so damn good about what I did.
So, perhaps, yes, his methods did work this time around. Perhaps because I actually let my guard down a little bit and let myself relax. Just one session left. I need to figure out what I want to work on the next time around!
I hoped for better things this time around, and also decided to focus our efforts on something else entirely. An energy boost. I've been feeling pretty sluggish lately – both emotionally and physically – so, I felt like a kick in the pants might do the trick. If he can even help with that.
He seemed pretty discouraged (and a bit unconvinced) when I told him that I didn't really feel all that different from the previous session. I'm sure he's used to having a pretty high success rate, but I still don't blame that entirely on him. So, I told him that I wanted to redirect my efforts. Not because what we talked about last time wasn't important, but I already have those affirmations recorded and can listen to them anytime. I wanted to try a new approach, and something that was a bit easier for my subconscious to tackle.
So, back to my lethargy. He suggested an energy boost session to help get me more motivated on my down time. With the new job (which I'm absolutely loving, btw), it's been a bit more mentally draining than I'm used to, so my nights and weekends have been more about catching up on sleep and relaxing than actually getting much accomplished. Hence today's session, which I now refer to as a B12 shot straight to the ol' noggin.
Our talk was much more brief this time around, and mainly he just asked me questions to see how I solve problems and attack projects. Turns out, I'm analytical, by the way. Probably pretty easy to figure that one out.
I headed back to the chair, settled in with the blanket and beachy wave sounds (he had other choices, but Amazonian frog chirps really don't put me into a relaxing mood). No nervous shakes this time around! I felt considerably more relaxed right from the get go, and it didn't take him nearly as long to put me "under".
Which felt SO WEIRD. Like, I knew where I was, what I was doing, etc., but when he suggested I try to open my eyes but wouldn't be able to because they were too heavy, I COULDN'T OPEN MY EYES. And in my brain, I knew that I could if I really wanted to, but yet I still couldn't. And I knew I was hypnotized. Or something was happening. And it was incredibly bizarre. Because I still didn't want to believe it. Even though it was literally happening to me right at that moment. (For the record, I always opened my eyes in Session #1)
He launched in to his affirmations about having energy when I come home from work, and that I'll feel energized to get more things done, blah blah blah. But, yet when my head hits the pillow, I'll know that it's time to shut it down and go to sleep (so very glad he added that in there or I might have turned in to the Energizer bunny!) He also suggested that red will be an energizing color for me, and that whenever I need an energy boost throughout the day, just seek out something red.
This one lasted just shy of 20 minutes, and I felt leaving refreshed, yet not really energetic just yet. My homework assignment was to listen to it three days in a row again to lock it in to memory. That night when I went to bed, I woke up inexplicably at 4:30am. This isn't entirely uncommon if I have to use the bathroom. But, it happened the next night and the next (the last one being at 1:30am and 4:30). Okay, this is not what I had in mind. I thought I was supposed to shut everything down when my head hit the pillow? Does my brain think that I need to take that literally. Like, I need to punch the pillow with my head? (Totally kidding here, I'm not going to head butt my pillow.)
I wasn't feeling 100% energized just yet, but it was also the end of the week when I'm usually drained. I chalked it up to maybe this stuff won't work for me. But then Saturday dawned, and I accomplished more in one day that I think I've accomplished in the last month. Besides numerous chores and working out, I painted my entire kitchen. Top to bottom. Two coats. By myself. And I didn't stop until the late night hours when it was all finished.
And then I started early the next morning, removed the tape, and touched up nearly every foot of trim with a tiny artist's paintbrush (the thing about old houses is that the molding isn't even, so it's impossible to tape it cleanly...and I'm a messy painter), not to mention a dozen or so other chores.
I realize that this may not sound like much to a lot of people. Parents out there do this much and more when their kids are running around. I'm not saying I did the most work in the entire world this weekend, I'm just saying that I did more than I have in a long time, and it felt great to get so much accomplished. I'm effing exhausted (still waking up in the middle of the night which is no bueno), but I feel so damn good about what I did.
So, perhaps, yes, his methods did work this time around. Perhaps because I actually let my guard down a little bit and let myself relax. Just one session left. I need to figure out what I want to work on the next time around!
