New Thing #63 - Bridge Day, Take Two

So I headed back to Bridge Day again this year. This is technically not a new thing, but I did do a highline from the bridge to the ground, which was new. I'll get to that soon, but you know me, I have to talk about everything else first! If you don't know what Bridge Day is, shame on you for not reading my blog from last year. :) I'll keep it brief for those of you who know. Bridge Day is a day dedicated to legal B.A.S.E. jumping off the New River Gorge Bridge in West Virginia. There, if you want to now more, read my old blog. ;-)

Again, I drove to Indy from StL to meet Meredith and Ben, but this year I drove on Wednesday night. I did not want to do the 10+ hour drive all in one day. I think that started me off on the cranky route last year and I didn't want that again. It helped out and Meredith and I started off for WV the following day. Ben and the rest of the crew, Alex, Mico and Paola, were coming later in the day, since they had to wait for Alex's flight to arrive from Texas.

The trip was smooth and took us around 6.5 hours. It would have taken a bit less time had we not gotten slightly lost a few times, nor took so many pee breaks. I swear, we stopped at the same McDonald's we did last year! Fortunately, we made it and found our new cabin for the weekend. It was frikkin' gorgeous. I know I said that about last year's cabin, but sweet sassy molassey, this place was a palace compared to that one. This cabin was new, built only recently, on the same grounds as where the registration for Bridge Day was. It has five, count 'em FIVE, bedrooms and two bathrooms, satellite TV, fire pit, enormous bbq grill, hot tub, and the list goes on. The wood inside was absolutely gorgeous and I could not get over how pretty it was. Okay, it wasn't like a mansion or anything, but compared to the tents on platforms a half a mile from where we were staying, we scored. The only problem was the toilets. Toilets, you say? Yeah, when they flushed, it sounded like a jet engine taking off. Good grief, were they shooting the poo to Siberia or something? Who knew toilets could be so bloody powerful?

I love the smell of fresh lumber in the morning!

The living/dining area view from the bottom of the stairs.

Satellite TV and gas fireplace. Fancy.

Kitchen with back door to covered deck.

Back deck with the hot tub!!

My room upstairs. The other rooms looked pretty much exactly the same with a giant dresser, two night tables and a large closet.

The nice big bathroom with the ceramic tile. It was nice having two full bathrooms this year for the 8 of staying at the cabin. Too bad when someone took a pee break at 3am, everyone knew about it.

Pretty steps!

Moving on. Thursday night was nice and relaxing, and Meredith and I were able to kick back and enjoy the hot tub after a long day of driving. I was bummed last year that we weren't able to use it, so I was bound and determined not to let that happen again this year. Friday dawned, and we once again made our way to the jumper registration. Even though this is a long day, it's actually one of my favorite parts of Bridge Day. We get to meet so many interesting (and some not so much) people. This year was no exception. We got to see some old faces (Adam!), and made new friends (Taylor!). These people that I meet there are like a giant family. Even though so many of them come from different areas of the globe, they all seem to know each other and are truly loyal to one another. I feel like I'm part of a family, even though I don't even B.A.S.E. jump. It's a really cool feeling.

We ran into John Solomon again, the guy who jumped last year for the first time for his 69th birthday. He was back at it again, and was the cutest grandpa ever. If I didn't already have two awesome grandpas, he's the kind of guy I'd like to have. He even brought us some slices of free pizza after Bridge Day was over because we were too busy to get up and get some ourselves. Awwwwww.

We were once again stationed upstairs at the jumper registration where they sign all the waivers not holding anyone at fault if they fall to their unpleasant death and then have their gear checked for any potential dangers. We have a prime setup at the top of the stairs, so we get first dibs on getting people to buy this year's DVD. Like last year, a lot of people just thought we were step one of registration, some people avoided us altogether knowing we were just trying to get them to spend money, and others bought the DVD with little persuasion on my part. Which was kind of a bummer. Come on people, I enjoy the thrill of the sale. At least let me throw out my sales pitch! Oh wait, they bought it, nevermind.

The Jump-Cuts girls!

Our new friend for this year was a hot Canadian named Taylor. Taylor would be our companion for nearly the entire day and he kept us pretty entertained. He was setup right next to us at the top of the stairs and he was selling T-shirts. Unfortunately, the reason he was selling those shirts was to help benefit the family of one of his jumping buddies who tragically lost his life the month before. Sky diving and B.A.S.E. jumping are definitely not without risks. But, anywho, Taylor was working his magic throughout the day, especially on the ladies. But, I couldn't blame him, I was technically doing the same thing to the men to get them to buy our DVD. ;-)

Throughout the course of the day, I found out how people hug in Quebec. So, normally when you hug, your left arm goes underneath the right arm of the person you're hugging and your right arms goes over their left shoulder. Right? In Quebec, it's opposite. Your left arm goes over the person's right shoulder and your right arm goes underneath their left arm. This is also called a heart-to-heart hug. Supposed to be more meaningful or something. Do I believe if this is real or not? What do I care? I got like 7 or 8 hugs outta the guy over the course of the day. I'll call it whatever freakin' kind of hug you want.

We also met Taylor's friend Anthony, and both of these guys had the cutest accents ever. Imagine a surfer. Now imagine a surfer with a Canadian accent. Not something you'd expect, eh? But oh so fun to listen to. Meredith and I bought shirts, of course. We couldn't resist the charm. :) (At least we waited until AFTER he had bought our DVD though.) I now have a B.A.S.E. shirt with a giant red maple leaf on it. I will be the coolest chick in St. Louis. At least the coolest chick for people who know what B.A.S.E. jumping is!

Sporting our Canadian B.A.S.E. shirts with our new friend.

Around the midpoint of the day, we saw Adam, our cutie patootie friend from last year. Aww, Adam! He hasn't changed a bit, still has that devil-may-care grin and the boy next door charm. :) Oh how we've missed Adam! And while we were getting reacquainted with our friend, a random guy started walking up the stairs with a stocking hat.....and no shirt. Hmmm, what the heck is this guy doing walking around with no sh-HOLY SHIT, he's naked! Yep, as he ascended the stairs, he was buck naked, strutting around for all the world to see. He started to make his way around the entire upper story, but stopped to have a quick chat with someone right in front of our table. Where he decided he had an itch that needed to be scratched. In a place no one wanted to see. Fortunately, there was a sign on our table that hid everything from our view, but we still couldn't stop laughing. He proceeded around the giant conference table and back down the stairs. And all it took was a $100 bet to get him to do that. We asked Taylor if he would do that for a Benjamin, but apparently, he's not that cheap. Shoot.

After registration was over, there was a short break for some meetings, while we moved our little booth downstairs by the front door. We would stay here for the rest of the night during the late registration and then be in the same place the following night after Bridge Day to continue to take orders. A sales girl's job is never done! In the process of setting up and hanging out for awhile, some people started asking us questions about the video like what kind of cameras we'd be using, where we'd be set up for shots, etc. etc. Little did I know at the time, but these were some cameramen from ESPN. They were going to be there the entire weekend shooting footage themselves. And they wanted to talk to Ben. Hot damn. I quickly hunted Ben down and got the introductions out of the way. I'm not sure exactly what the conversation was about, but if Ben gets recognition for his hard work with someone like ESPN, then that is frikkin' amazing.

The night started to wear on, and with it my nerves. Bridge Day offers van passes for wives, girlfriends, moms, dads and other spectators to be able to go from the top of the bridge where you can see the exits to the gorge below at the Landing Zone where you can see the landings. For a $10 fee, you can ride the vans as much as you want. Busses are available for all jumpers, rapellers and staff members free of charge. Every G-D person that walked into the lodge that night asked us the same damn question. "Can I buy my van pass here?" In the beginning, our response was polite and extensive...."No, we don't sell the passes, but if you wait until the jumper briefing is over, you'll be able to purchase them upstairs." By the end of the night, I was down to one word answer, just simply "Upstairs" and had made a sign for our table that said "DVD Purchase ONLY. Van passes UPSTAIRS." Did anyone read it? Nope. Did I want to smack every single person that asked me that question? Yep. Did I want to come across the table and backhand the couple that asked me the SAME question THREE times? Hell yes. I can't blame everyone. They had no idea where to buy the van passes and we were stationed right inside the door. And Mere and I look competent enough, like we would be the right people to ask. But, after 3 hours of people asking, I didn't care anymore. I wanted to punch someone. Including Alex, our camera guy who casually asked me in hour 4, "can I buy a van pass from you?"

Saturday dawned, and we were still up at the crack of dawn. Meredith and I to get to the bridge for our highline adventure, and the rest of the crew to help put up the exit platform and get ready for a long day of videotaping. After last year, Ben and Meredith decided that it wasn't beneficial for the two of us to try to sell DVDs on the bridge. Jumpers and their families are the ones who really want to buy, not the local spectators that come to watch. Last year was really a waste of our time, and Meredith and I wanted to actually enjoy the day this year. So, instead, we booked a highline adventure that stretched from the catwalk under the bridge to the ground below.

Setting up.

Eerie view along the edge.

It turned out to be warm and sunny this afternoon, but obviously not yet!

This would be Ben's home for the rest of the day.

I'm attempting to take a photo over the side of the bridge into the gorge below. Fog seems to be hindering my attempt a bit.

Platform work continues.

From the north end looking south down the bridge.

We really had no idea what to expect, as the website wasn't all that intuitive and the people running it weren't the most helpful of human beings. We just showed up at the end of the bridge at 9am and hoped for the best. The fog was ridiculously thick and it was difficult to see much of anything. It was so difficult to see the ground that when the boom truck arrived at 7am to set up the platform, they couldn't find the middle of the bridge right away. It was crazy. And because of that fog, we had to wait awhile before we were able to go. We found out that we would be attached to a rope (similar to ziplining) and we would slowly be lowered to the ground by the guy on the catwalk (not at all similar to ziplining). We wouldn't have control of our speed or stopping or anything. Because of this, it was kinda important for the people on both ends to be able to see one another. Obviously.

Meredith and I were taken first, and we got to walk under the bridge on the catwalk. Which was so unbelievably cool. And not at all for the faint of heart. The catwalk is only as wide as a single person and we weren't strapped to anything. One slip and you could easily fall through the holes into the rocks and trees below. I was a little shaky, but honestly, not too bad. I think the fog made it a bit worse b/c I couldn't see the ground and that was a bit freaky. Weird how I would have been okay if the ground was completely visible, right? I'm weird like that. Besides the jumping from the top and us highlining from the north end, they also had rappellers going off the south end of the bridge. For some reason that was told to us but I don't remember, the rappellers had to get on the catwalk from the north end and WALK all the way to the south end. This bridge is ridiculously long. I did not envy their walk. The other issue was that each one had to pass us on their way down the catwalk. I mentioned that the catwalk was only one person wide, right? So imagine leaning against a simple steel railing, with no fence or anything to keep you from sliding off, while people wedged themselves past you. Goood times.

The catwalk (as seen from the end of the bridge).

While we waited we observed a man taking photos of a stuffed opossum on the bridge. I am not making this up.

It's a bit froggy out!

Two security guards trying to stay warm under the catwalk.

I didn't think to take a photo with no one in my way. That would have been really cool with all of the fog.

On the catwalk, yeah I do my little turn on the catwalk.

Fortunately, the fog finally lifted and we were able to get started. Meredith was closest to the guides, so she was strapped in first. She had to stand up on the railings while the guide hooked the rope to her harness (we at least got our harnesses and helmets BEFORE walking under the cat walk.) After she was strapped in, we asked how I would be positioned to go with her. Well, the guide was not having any of that. Even though they offer the chance to go twosies, he didn't want to risk it for the first zip of the day. So, it looks like Meredith would have to go by herself. Into the foggy mist below. She proceeded to climb over the railing onto the steel support beam and just sat backwards. The guide slowly let out the rope to allow her to descent slooooowly. She hadn't gone more than 15 feet when she hit a snag and then proceeded smoothly to the bottom. It was hard to see her at times, but she made it safely to the ground. I felt bad for her that she was first, but what can you do? We didn't know that would happen. We had to wait for the guide to pull up the connecting ropes before I could go. I still wasn't nervous. I think I was honestly more nervous to run the 5K than I was to do this. I'm odd like that.

Check it oot. You can't see the ground!


Wooo! Fog!

Prep work.

Starting to see the ground.

I wasn't taking a picture of the support beams, but trying to frame out the landing zone in the dead center.

I'll zoom in so you can see it.

View straight down from where we were standing.

Meredith climbing over the railing.

Let there be sun!

There she gooooooooes!

Unfortunately, Meredith was the guinea pig and got hung up a couple times.

Another view of the river before it was my turn.

And now we can finally see the ground!

It was my turn to get hooked into the harness and then my camera decided to be a little bitch. It was cold out this morning. So cold we could see our breaths, despite the thick fog. Because of this, my camera had been acting up for two hours. I'd get to take some pictures and then I'd have to stuff the camera down my jacket to warm up from my body heat. Well, I guess it didn't have enough time to warm up, b/c it froze and wouldn't let me take any pictures or video during the descent the grounds. :( (Fortunately, Meredith had Ben's GoPro helmet cam attached to her head. I'll get that footage later!) The only short moment of slight fear was going over the catwalk wall to get on the outer platform. Really? THAT'S what I was scared of? I was already attached to the rope, so if I did fall, I wouldn't plummet to the ground, but for some reason, those 10 seconds made me a little weak in the knees. But then all it took was for me to sit back like I was sitting in a chair and away I went.

I have to say that the view was spectacular. Breathtaking. Amazing. The ride down? Boring as hell. Apparently Meredith and I have become adrenaline junkies now. And this didn't quite whet our appetite for that. Don't get me wrong, it was still cool and I'm glad I did it, but it was a slow descent down to the ground. There was no thrill. No exhilaration. It was over before I knew it as I made my way to the ground. I don't regret getting the chance to do it, but I do think it's a bit overpriced for the full experience. But I guess any other "normal" person would think it was off the chain. Mere and I are just the exception to the rule. :)

Once we both made it to the bottom, we hopped on one of the jumper busses and made our way around the bottom of the gorge onto the smaller bridge upstream from the big bridge. From here we had some fantastic views of the jumpers. They were just tiny specks on the horizon, but it was so amazing to see it from this angle. We didn't spend too long here before we made our way over to the LZ or Landing Zone. We didn't get to see this last year, so I'm very grateful we were able to this year. This was one of the coolest viewing areas available. Yes, the exits are fun to watch, but most people just kind of leap off into oblivion. At the bottom, you get to see the jump, hear the canopies open and watch as people land gracefully, make a splash into the water or crash into the rocks. While we were down there, we saw a few water landings and a few not-so-graceful trips onto the dirt, but most of them landed on their feet. We did see one guy who crashed into the rocks and had to be taken away on a stretcher. I don't think he ended up breaking anything, but I can't imagine he felt very good.

Breathtaking view of the bridge.

Four way jump with Red-Bull canopies.

You can make out the rappelling lines, just barely. Each jumper was warned to jump away from the bridge so they didn't get tangled in the lines.

Close up of the rappellers.

Perty!

One of a gazillion photos I got of people landing. I don't really want to post all of them!

I love this action shot as he's just touching down!

I love this photo. He just hits the water before his canopy does.

Stick the landing!

Trying to get their canopies out of the way before the next person lands.

I could have stayed down there all day. I really loved watching everyone make their landings. However, we didn't really want to stay down there for hours. We hitched a ride on another bus and made our way back to the bridge. I really wanted to get some photos of the exits. I did not anticipate the crowd, however. I just remembered last year when I could walk freely around without running into anyone. The bus let us off right at the exit point and there was no place to go, there were so many people. The cop told us to get moving, but I have no idea where he wanted us to go. We eventually wormed our way through the crowd, and I found a spot somewhat close to the exit point and got a few pix, but I had no desire to stay. We were tired and there were just too many people.

Ben, hard at work!

Geronimoooo! Yep, that's the camera guy Mark sitting on the edge of the platform!

We made our way down the bridge back to our car, stopping at a few vendor booths along the way for a quick bite to eat. Getting up at 5:30 am sure does fire up the appetite. After we got the car, we headed back to the cabin for a much-needed cat nap, a hot shower and then packed up the car to get ready for the final sales push. Lots of jumpers wait until after the day is over to buy their video, so we knew it would be a madhouse. Some aren't sure if they want to buy until after they jump for the first time, others want to make sure they don't buy a video and then totally bomb with their jumps. It's all understandable, it just makes for a long night for us. At least this time, we didn't have anyone asking for stupid van passes.

This looks a lot different than it did at 7 this morning!

I'll miss you New River Gorge!

We did have some fun times with guys who bought from us the day before, coming back to write down their jump times for their raw footage. Lots of flirting going on. :) Then we had some random drunk Polish guys who were kind of bat sh*t crazy and slightly annoying. One guy had a picture of a naked baby on the back of his badge. He claims it was him when he was a baby, but who freakin' does that? And he kept asking if it was sexy. I guess it's a cultural barrier and he didn't think anything of it, but I told him that's it's not normal to think babies are sexy. It was made worse by the fact that his current photo for the badge looked like a prison photo of a pedophile. And he wouldn't shut up or leave. It probably didn't help that I was egging on his craziness. Hey, it was late, and I needed entertainment.

And entertainment we got in the form of an irate drunken a-hole. Who was not mad at us at all, but he wouldn't listen to me when I told him we weren't the people he was looking for. Apparently, his wife jumped and broke her leg (which I don't think was even true b/c we didn't hear about a woman breaking her leg), and she wanted her $80 t-shirt. I'm guessing that she was a late registrant and she didn't get the free t-shirt that was being handed out. I proceeded to calmly tell him that we weren't in charge of that and all we did was sell the DVD. He proceeded to get pissy with me and say "I don't want to sell anything, I want my G-D $80 t-shirt." The attitude, buddy? Not helping your situation. I then became more firm and said "Sir, if you would listen to me, we don't have anything to do with that. Jason Bell is the one you want." "Oh, I know Jason, it's his wife Jennifer I want to talk to." (You should know that at this point, the people in charge, Jason and Jennifer, were holding the post-jumping briefing in the building next door, handing out awards. Because of the tight space, they were broadcasting it live into our building for the overflow. And the TV monitor was RIGHT BEHIND ME. Where Jennifer was currently in view.) I told him that they were in the meeting next door and he could talk to her when it was over. I pointed to the screen indicating that she was next door. She even happened to be the one with the mike at the time. "I need to speak to Jennifer. Where are you hiding her?" was his response. I was pretty irate myself at this point. We went back and forth for a solid minute or two with me trying to explain that the Jennifer on the screen was in fact live and right next door followed by him thinking I was hiding her in my back pocket. He finally decided to leave and saw the screen and said "Is that live? Next door?" and then he walked out. I'm not entirely sure how I stayed seated without plowing my fist into his jaw. Probably because I've never punched another person in my life, but that's not the point. I sure as hell wanted to.

The evening wore down and all the fun people I had met over the last 48 hours came up to give me hugs goodbye. Wow, I barely know these people, and I'm sad to be saying goodbye. It's such a tight knit group of people and I'm so happy I was able to be a small part of it. We all headed back to the cabin hit the hay and prepared for our long drive home the next day.

Our final goodbye to Adam. What a cutie!

One tuckered out group of peeps. L to R: Me, Meredith, Ben, Mark & Alex (both camera guys).

We made it back to Indy in great time and I decided to make the trek back to StL following it. It was a long day in the car, but I had the next day off, so who cares?!

Thanks again to Ben and Meredith for letting me be a part of the fun and Mere for going on the highline. It wasn't an adrenaline rush, but it was still worth it! Now Meredith wants to do the rappelling next year. Uhhhh, that requires training and certifications. I'm not sure I want to go through all of that. But, she's pretty persuasive, so we'll see what happens!

New Thing #62 - 10/10/10 - Fall Sunday Funday

Oh wow, it was a Bucket List Trifecta Day. I polished off THREE new things all in the span of about 11 hours. Good gravy I'm tired. Bear with me, lots to talk about.

I planned a Sunday Funday with my friend Brenda weeks ago, hoping it would be a nice fall day. At least we got the nice part right. It's fall and that means cool crisp days, hot apple cider, pumpkin picking and the leaves changing colors. Scratch those first two. It's October 10th and it soared into the upper 80s today. Seriously? I love nice weather, but I look forward to fall weather, and this was nowhere near it. I was in a tank top and flip flops and still had a sweat stain down my spine. Sexy, I know.

Our day started with a trip to Eckert's, followed by dinner at Fast Eddie's Bon Air, capped with a little ghost hunting on the Haunted Alton tour. I'll break each part out for you. :)

Act 1 - Eckert's

For those not familiar with St. Louis, Eckert's is a family owned apple farm in Illinois just across the river. Their first location was in Belleville over a hundred years ago and have since opened locations in Millstadt and Grafton. Brenda and I opted to head over to Millstadt hoping it wouldn't be as packed as Belleville was. Not really the case. Neither one of us had ever been there, so we didn't really know what to expect. We were looking forward to doing our own apple picking and would hopefully find a few good pumpkins to bring home.

We started with a lovely drive through the windy roads of Southern Illinois and made our way to an enormous apple orchard dotted with buildings, cars and port-a-potty's. Good thing they had a a few acres of empty pasture for all the cars to park. I guess the nice weather brought everyone out to play. I swear though Brenda and I were the only ones without a kid in tow.

We didn't really know what to do first. We opted to grab some apple cider (cold, not piping hot) and a funnel cake and settled in to watch the Jack-o-Lobber crank out a few pumpkins. Yes, this was a custom-built pumpkin cannon. And every hour, on the hour, they would make a big production of stuffing a few pumpkins into the end and shooting them out at lightning fast speeds. This is true entertainment, kids. We had to wait awhile before the show began and then the host selected a few helpers out of the crowd. One to pick out a spectacular pumpkin, one taller spectator to load it into the cannon and shove it all the way down the barrel and another to do the countdown. It was cute and dear lord, I didn't expect it to be so fast. I could barely even see the pumpkin shoot out the end, nor see it fly across the horizon. I did however see it crash land a mile or so away into an empty field. It's good fun, but I can't help but think that it's a waste of perfectly good pumpkins....

The view from the top of the Lookout Point.

Mmmmmm....Tasty Treats!

A zoomed in view of downtown StL.

The volunteer prepping the plunger.

Pushing the pumpkin down to the end.

Ready for action!

Fire in the Hole! I tried to follow it with the camera, but quickly realized that was never gonna happen!

A two-fer this time!

After the Jack-o-Lobber, we milled around, taking in the sights. Brenda fed a deer, a tiny cow and a camel. Random animals at the Eckert's farm. We listened to some tweens sing some realllly bad Lady Gaga karaoke, we walked through a pretty lame corn maze and checked out a building full of so much randomness, I don't even know how to describe it. It was a cross between a not-so-haunted house and a museum. Odd.

Feeding the adorable tiny cow. :)

The camel was playing hide and seek with me and he didn't want his picture taken.

Who knew you could ride a camel at an apple orchard?

Lamo corn maze.

Finally, we decided we had seen enough and wanted to go apple picking. We got in line for the apple wagons and rode down the dusty trail to the orchard. Where we kind of felt jipped a bit. It seemed like most of the trees were picked clean and what was left were unripe or rotten. The ground was littered with discarded apples and cores. I only ended up with about a half dozen apples. I guess that was okay, because really, what was I going to do with more than that? We loaded up and got back on the wagon to go to the pumpkin patch. I was determined to find some pumpkins for my porch. In transit, we heard someone talking to their uncle or father who was already in the patch and they said it had nearly been picked clean of good pumpkins. Dammit. We opted to just ride up to the farm and buy one of the ones we had already seen available for purchase. I think I'll survive without actually picking my own pumpkin.

No, I wasn't taking a picture of the dude eating an apple. Just trying to show some of the orchard.

Slim pickins.

I think I'll just buy one of these!

We decided we had seen enough, but still had quite a bit of time to kill before the haunted tour started. Brenda's brilliant idea? Fast Eddie's Bon Air for dinner and a drink. Let's do it!

Act 2 - Fast Eddie's Bon Air

Wow, this place is one of a kind. In the 20's the bar was opened by Anheuser Busch but had to be sold only 10 years later due to new laws regulating breweries from owning bars. A half century later the Eddie in Fast Eddie's purchased and it quadrupled in size. It can seat over 400 people, but on the weekends you're lucky if you even get a seat. The crowd is one of the most eclectic I've seen. Rough bikers stopping in for a cold one, prostitots dressed to the nines looking for some sugar, college kids enjoying the cheap food and cold beer, grandmas and grandpas shaking a tail feather, you name it. It was a people watching DREAM! Probably one of the best things is that it's a 21 and over bar. No matter what. Even though they serve food, you still can't get in without an ID. So noooo kiddos!

Speaking of the food. It's good and it's cheap. Dirt cheap. Basket of fries for $0.99. 1/2 pound Fat Eddie burgers for $0.99. Yep, that's right, a 1/2 pound of ground beef for the same price as a bucketful of thin crispy perfect french fries. The menu is definitely limited and it's by no means gourmet, but it's cheap and fast.

Delicioso!

You don't even order your food from your server. You have to go order from the "kitchen" which is basically right in the middle of the bar and they give you a number. Throughout the bar they have a giant screen that pops up your number when it's ready. If you miss your number, you miss your food. That burger was very scrumptious too!

And don't bother bringing your credit card, all they take is cold hard cash. Their servers take your drink order and you pay as you go. No building up a tab here. Your first round could be with one waitress and by the time you're ready for another, some other waitress will stop by your table. That doesn't give you must chance to build up a rapport with your server, but hey, at least there are plenty to go around!

I can see how this place is popular. I mean, hell, Brenda and I both ate dinner for under $5 TOGETHER. Our beer tab was almost triple our food bill. I'm not sure I could hang out there very often though. The smoke was so thick I almost needed a machete to make my way across the room. I also have a feeling fights break out more often than not, based on the crowd.

After we left Fast Eddie's, I wanted to change into some warmer clothes before we went walking around Alton. It's nice during the day, but the evenings still feel like fall. I guess this could be a bonus bucket list entry. I used a gas station bathroom that we needed to get the key from the cashier. And it came attached to a wooden board. Never had to get a bathroom key on a stick before. I'd like to point out that the bathroom was INSIDE the gas station in full view of the cashiers. I'm not entirely sure why you needed to get the key unless they had problems with people using the bathroom for unspeakable things. Blech, makes me shudder. I was not particularly happy about changing my clothes in there, but fortunately nothing touched the ground and my feet never left my flip flops. Note to self: never use the bathroom at the station next to Fast Eddie's. EVER.

Act 3 - Haunted Alton Tour

I love the cartoon ghosts!

I'm so scurrred!

Ahhh, Alton, IL. Such a "lovely" little town. And apparently known for being "One of the Most Haunted Small Towns in America." Brenda and I were hoping for a little paranormal activity, but I'll be honest. If I actually saw a ghost or some kind of crazy sh*t happen, I would not be able to predict my reaction. No, wait, I could definitely predict that I'd scream and freak the eff out. This is why I do not watch scary movies. I do not like things appearing out of nowhere to scare the bejesus out of me. Alive or not. Which makes me wonder what in the heck I'm doing here in the first place. I'm not entirely sure what to believe when it comes to ghosts. The logical part of me says it'd be stupid not to believe that these things are possible, but my scaredy-cat part doesn't really want to actually see or witness them. Although the logical part does, so I can finally have a true answer and not some Hollywood hocus pocus. I realize I make no sense here, but deal with it.

So, we're headed to Alton to see if we see any ghosts roaming around or lurking in any darkened basements. Good times. Now, based on my last ghost hunting experience, I wouldn't actually see any ghosts, just "orbs" floating around. Which to me, is a total bummer. If I'm going to have my pants scared right off of me, it better be by something with a see-through body. Or at least that green slimy blob from Ghostbusters that eats leftover hotel food.

We arrived early and made sure we had a potty break before it began. There would be no stopping along the way and I didn't want a full bladder to worry about. That could be disastrous. In the meantime, the guides showed us a picture that someone took two nights before in the haunted church. Um, so yeah, there was a see-through person in the picture. And it wasn't photoshopped by some random person. Brenda's coworker was the one who took the photo. I'm a fairly trustworthy person, so I didn't really have any reason to believe it wasn't real. But I also don't like being hoodwinked, so I wasn't holding any judgment until I saw the church for myself. The guide assured us that ghosts are in the shape of people, not floating orbs. Sonofa, who the heck am I supposed to believe now? Good grief.

We set off shortly after 7 and was told we'd be doing quite a bit of walking and most of the tour would be outside. Our final two destinations would both be inside, one an old tunnel used to hide runaway slaves with the Underground Railroad and another an extremely haunted church. We. Couldn't. Wait. Our first stop was the site of the first penitentiary in the state of Illinois. And we soon realized that our guide LOVED telling stories. If you think my stories are long-winded (and I know you do), this guy puts me to shame. He proceeded to tell us all about how this prison held all kinds of dark and grisly deaths from overcrowding of Civil War Confederate prisoners to a small pox epidemic that quarantined prisoners and guards alike. There were so many people dying just from being around the remaining dead that they dug a giant hole within the prison grounds to dump the dead bodies into. And then they sent them downstream to an island in the Mississippi river, only to have them returned again to the prison site. I won't give away too many details, but it was kind of eerie to be out at night standing on the former site of this prison. Yeah, it's now a parking lot. Gotta love urban expansion. :)

Don't let the concrete stains fool you. Lots of people died under this parking lot.

Next we learned about The Mansion House where it is believed that an old Indian hunter, who was renting a room, was found dead in his room with his own hand around his neck. He had spent nearly every night there keeping the entire population awake with his screaming about the ghosts of all of the Indians he had killed that were coming back to take their revenge on him. So, at this point, I'm thinking, cool, we'll get to go see this place. Nope. It burned down in the last decade and nothing is left. Well, crap. Again, what good is the ghost story without the actual structure to back it up? Dangit.

I'm kind of beginning to wonder about this ghost tour, but we press on to the next location where a police officer vanished in front of a building during his night watch in the 1930s. Again, it's a chilling story of a guy who vanished and who's body was found a few days later showing a brutal murder. Our guide continues to tell us this story while standing on an empty lot. The building that this took place at was once again not there. So, 3 for 3. Don't get me wrong, I love a good story, but sonofabitch, I wanted to actually go inside and see some crazy stuff! Not see random lots where things used to happen.

Be careful. You could vanish from this very spot. Without a Trace. That sounds like a great title for a TV show. Wait......

Our guide then told of a story of one of his nightly tours and walking an entire group of people down a dark alley and right into the middle of a drug deal. Ah, good ol' Alton. We hiked up a steep alley and then another hill before our guide needed a moment's rest. He wasn't exactly agile nor in tip top shape. We waited for him to catch his breath to move on, but nope, he decided to tell us a story instead. Imagine that. But this time, the story was not about a ghost. Nope, it was about one of the tallest men in the world who happened to grow up in Alton. Yep, he wasted about 20 or so minutes of our time talking about this boy growing up and his trials and tribulations of life at growing to be over 8 feet tall. Fascinating stuff, if that's what you paid for. We did not. At one point, I looked at Brenda and said that an 8' tall ghost had better start walking down the sidewalk or I'm gonna start to get pissy.

Finally, our guide was ready to press on, but we stopped again for another history lesson. This time about one of Abe Lincoln's debates before he became President. There's a few statues close to the river depicting the legendary debate. But, nothing haunted about it. I'm thinking maybe this guy is a history professor in his "day job" and he was practicing for his Monday lecture or something. Get to the spooky stuff buddy!

Finally, FINALLY, he announced that we would be going into the first of our two buildings next. SWEEEEET! We walked up to a particulary spooky looking building and Brenda and I were so excited, we thought we might pee a little. It looked old and like something ominous had to have happened there. Come on buddy, quit the idle chit chat and let us go in.

Oh wait, we don't get to go in?

This building is from the World's Fair in St. Louis in 1904 and it was relocated to Alton because some rich dude liked it?

And now it houses a bunch of lawyers?

And there's no ghosts lurking around?

WTF.

My patience tends to wear thin when I feel like I'm being bamboozled, and I was starting to feel this way about this tour. Don't get me wrong, I loved the stories behind the hauntings, but I could have read those online. I didn't spend $25 to listen to some guy tell me something I could read myself.

As we rounded the next corner, the next house was visible. And it was pretty big. We found that this house was built by a family dedicated to helping escaped slaves reach their freedom in the north. There would be a tunnel in the basement that we'd get to see that the slaves used to hide from the Confederacy and it's followers. After the war was over and the house sold, it was turned into a tuberculosis hospital and the amount of people who died there was staggering.

It had been nearly 3 hours since our tour began and we'd finally get the chance for some real possible paranormal activity. Because of the small size of the tunnel, our guide broke us up into two groups to take us below. Fortunately, the current owners are pleasant and allow these tours to commence throughout the holiday season. We entered a door underneath the front porch and proceeded down a stairwell in the basement. Through two dingy rooms, we found the entrance to the Underground Railroad tunnel, and that was exactly what it was. Just a short tunnel with no windows or doors except the one entrance. I'm not sure exactly how it was hidden from random people, but I suppose the disguise was disgarded after the war.

We get to go inside! Wooooo!

The front door is pretty.

We filed into the tunnel one by one and then our guide proceeded to turn off the rest of the lights in the basement. One. By. One. Until it was pitch black with only the sound of shuffling feet of the group. Brenda freaked a little and grabbed onto my arm for reassurance that I was indeed a living breathing soul. I freaked some, but I just didn't let it out verbally. For some reason, I didn't want to touch the walls of the tunnel. Most people were leaning on them for support, but something freaked me out about touching the walls. I don't know what it was, but I just had a feeling that I shouldn't do it. The guide eventually turned the lights back on and gave us an opportunity to take a few pictures. He told us how sometimes people would see ghosts walking past the entrance while they were standing inside. No such luck for us. It was funny though, I was torn between wanting to look and hoping I'd see something, to refusing to look in case I actually saw something. I'm weird like that.

Why are you smiling Brenda?! There could be a ghost right behind you!

I finally touched the walls, but only in the light.

Looking out into the rest of the basement.

I thought if I turned off the flash, I might catch a glimpse of something.

Nice.

Random room in the basement. Again, I was hoping to catch something in the corner.

We stayed for a few more minutes to take pictures of the tunnel and the remaining rooms downstairs. I hoped something might happen, but eventually we made our way back to the surface to let the other group go down. While we waited, our other guide told us stories of people who rented the apartments in the building. Over the years, numerous people made claims of crazy sh*t happening, and then eventually breaking their leases and moving out. Some such things like keys and other items going missing, only to show up in other places hours or days later, a single knuckle rapping on a door to the basement, with no body on the other side to indicate where the knock came from, scraping and the sound of moving furniture and muffled noises coming from empty apartment. You know, the usual. I honestly don't think I could knowingly move into a building that has claims of hauntings. Whether it's true or not, I'd be scared shitless all the time. I'd either think it really was ghosts, or that some crazy serial killer was trying to break into my place. Either way, I'd never get any sleep.

Speaking of sleep, I was in desperate need of some, but I didn't want to miss out on the final stop on our tour. The First Unitarian Church. The place that Brenda's friend caught the ghost with his iPhone. Eventually we made our way down the street to this church and it definitely looked spooky outside. It could have been because it was 10:30 at night or because we knew that something lurked inside. We didn't spend too much time outside, as our guide wanted to tell us the story from inside the church. And, by the way, it's still a functioning church. He took a few volunteers in to make his nightly donation and then the rest of us filed in afterwards. It was dark and they were definitely going for the spook factor on this one.

Cuh. Reepy.

I was trying for a face in the window, but no luck.

So, the story goes that a beloved minister took his own life by hanging himself from one of the light fixtures. No one seems to know why, but apparently he was pretty pissed at life if he did that and continued to haunt the church for the rest of eternity. We made our way from the actual church pews into the adjoining room where the suicide took place. Our guide hadn't mentioned the light fixture at this point, all he said was that the minister was found hanging. He then asked us all if we had any idea where the body was found. For some reason, my mind went to that one light fixture. Everyone threw out guesses, but no one guessed that. Then, he revealed that it was the light fixture I was thinking of. Holy crap, I'm possessed! Ha, just kidding. I only thought that because he was standing nearly directly underneath it. I figured he had some kind of dramatic ending going on.

THE Light Fixture.

It wasn't this light in the church, my flash is just ridiculously bright.

One of the other guides stepped forward at this point and said that during one disturbing evening, she heard a man's whisper in her ear that said "Shut him up" during one of the storytelling sessions. Creepy? Perhaps. Although I wanted to say the same thing at least a dozen times during the tour, so I can't blame a ghost for wanting the same thing! If the minister really does lurk around, he's probably heard that same damn story a hundred times or more! Our first guide also told us about his wife coming along and feeling like she was being strangled at one point. They left the church and she had rope burns down her neck. Coincidence, who knows? But, given the current timing of being in the church, the lights being off and the stories, I was freaking myself out and kinda wanted to get the heck out of dodge. I took a gazillion pictures, hoping to catch the crazy lunatic wandering around, but I think the flash on my camera is too powerful. Or, you know, there really wasn't a ghost. Whatevs.

Finally after over 4 hours of wandering around, we finished the tour. Good grief! I was incredibly pooped.

Goodbye creepy church.

We headed back to St. Louis, 4 hours after our tour began, with no ghost sightings, but lots of knowledge about the bat shit crazy stuff that has gone down in Alton. Mental note: don't move there.

Thanks Brenda for going on our Fall "Date"!