I planned a Sunday Funday with my friend Brenda weeks ago, hoping it would be a nice fall day. At least we got the nice part right. It's fall and that means cool crisp days, hot apple cider, pumpkin picking and the leaves changing colors. Scratch those first two. It's October 10th and it soared into the upper 80s today. Seriously? I love nice weather, but I look forward to fall weather, and this was nowhere near it. I was in a tank top and flip flops and still had a sweat stain down my spine. Sexy, I know.
Our day started with a trip to Eckert's, followed by dinner at Fast Eddie's Bon Air, capped with a little ghost hunting on the Haunted Alton tour. I'll break each part out for you. :)
Act 1 - Eckert's
For those not familiar with St. Louis, Eckert's is a family owned apple farm in Illinois just across the river. Their first location was in Belleville over a hundred years ago and have since opened locations in Millstadt and Grafton. Brenda and I opted to head over to Millstadt hoping it wouldn't be as packed as Belleville was. Not really the case. Neither one of us had ever been there, so we didn't really know what to expect. We were looking forward to doing our own apple picking and would hopefully find a few good pumpkins to bring home.
We started with a lovely drive through the windy roads of Southern Illinois and made our way to an enormous apple orchard dotted with buildings, cars and port-a-potty's. Good thing they had a a few acres of empty pasture for all the cars to park. I guess the nice weather brought everyone out to play. I swear though Brenda and I were the only ones without a kid in tow.
We didn't really know what to do first. We opted to grab some apple cider (cold, not piping hot) and a funnel cake and settled in to watch the Jack-o-Lobber crank out a few pumpkins. Yes, this was a custom-built pumpkin cannon. And every hour, on the hour, they would make a big production of stuffing a few pumpkins into the end and shooting them out at lightning fast speeds. This is true entertainment, kids. We had to wait awhile before the show began and then the host selected a few helpers out of the crowd. One to pick out a spectacular pumpkin, one taller spectator to load it into the cannon and shove it all the way down the barrel and another to do the countdown. It was cute and dear lord, I didn't expect it to be so fast. I could barely even see the pumpkin shoot out the end, nor see it fly across the horizon. I did however see it crash land a mile or so away into an empty field. It's good fun, but I can't help but think that it's a waste of perfectly good pumpkins....
The view from the top of the Lookout Point.
Mmmmmm....Tasty Treats!
A zoomed in view of downtown StL.
The volunteer prepping the plunger.
Pushing the pumpkin down to the end.
Ready for action!
Fire in the Hole! I tried to follow it with the camera, but quickly realized that was never gonna happen!
A two-fer this time!
After the Jack-o-Lobber, we milled around, taking in the sights. Brenda fed a deer, a tiny cow and a camel. Random animals at the Eckert's farm. We listened to some tweens sing some realllly bad Lady Gaga karaoke, we walked through a pretty lame corn maze and checked out a building full of so much randomness, I don't even know how to describe it. It was a cross between a not-so-haunted house and a museum. Odd.
Feeding the adorable tiny cow. :)
The camel was playing hide and seek with me and he didn't want his picture taken.
Who knew you could ride a camel at an apple orchard?
Lamo corn maze.
Finally, we decided we had seen enough and wanted to go apple picking. We got in line for the apple wagons and rode down the dusty trail to the orchard. Where we kind of felt jipped a bit. It seemed like most of the trees were picked clean and what was left were unripe or rotten. The ground was littered with discarded apples and cores. I only ended up with about a half dozen apples. I guess that was okay, because really, what was I going to do with more than that? We loaded up and got back on the wagon to go to the pumpkin patch. I was determined to find some pumpkins for my porch. In transit, we heard someone talking to their uncle or father who was already in the patch and they said it had nearly been picked clean of good pumpkins. Dammit. We opted to just ride up to the farm and buy one of the ones we had already seen available for purchase. I think I'll survive without actually picking my own pumpkin.
No, I wasn't taking a picture of the dude eating an apple. Just trying to show some of the orchard.
Slim pickins.
I think I'll just buy one of these!
We decided we had seen enough, but still had quite a bit of time to kill before the haunted tour started. Brenda's brilliant idea? Fast Eddie's Bon Air for dinner and a drink. Let's do it!
Act 2 - Fast Eddie's Bon Air
Wow, this place is one of a kind. In the 20's the bar was opened by Anheuser Busch but had to be sold only 10 years later due to new laws regulating breweries from owning bars. A half century later the Eddie in Fast Eddie's purchased and it quadrupled in size. It can seat over 400 people, but on the weekends you're lucky if you even get a seat. The crowd is one of the most eclectic I've seen. Rough bikers stopping in for a cold one, prostitots dressed to the nines looking for some sugar, college kids enjoying the cheap food and cold beer, grandmas and grandpas shaking a tail feather, you name it. It was a people watching DREAM! Probably one of the best things is that it's a 21 and over bar. No matter what. Even though they serve food, you still can't get in without an ID. So noooo kiddos!
Speaking of the food. It's good and it's cheap. Dirt cheap. Basket of fries for $0.99. 1/2 pound Fat Eddie burgers for $0.99. Yep, that's right, a 1/2 pound of ground beef for the same price as a bucketful of thin crispy perfect french fries. The menu is definitely limited and it's by no means gourmet, but it's cheap and fast.
Delicioso!
You don't even order your food from your server. You have to go order from the "kitchen" which is basically right in the middle of the bar and they give you a number. Throughout the bar they have a giant screen that pops up your number when it's ready. If you miss your number, you miss your food. That burger was very scrumptious too!
And don't bother bringing your credit card, all they take is cold hard cash. Their servers take your drink order and you pay as you go. No building up a tab here. Your first round could be with one waitress and by the time you're ready for another, some other waitress will stop by your table. That doesn't give you must chance to build up a rapport with your server, but hey, at least there are plenty to go around!
I can see how this place is popular. I mean, hell, Brenda and I both ate dinner for under $5 TOGETHER. Our beer tab was almost triple our food bill. I'm not sure I could hang out there very often though. The smoke was so thick I almost needed a machete to make my way across the room. I also have a feeling fights break out more often than not, based on the crowd.
After we left Fast Eddie's, I wanted to change into some warmer clothes before we went walking around Alton. It's nice during the day, but the evenings still feel like fall. I guess this could be a bonus bucket list entry. I used a gas station bathroom that we needed to get the key from the cashier. And it came attached to a wooden board. Never had to get a bathroom key on a stick before. I'd like to point out that the bathroom was INSIDE the gas station in full view of the cashiers. I'm not entirely sure why you needed to get the key unless they had problems with people using the bathroom for unspeakable things. Blech, makes me shudder. I was not particularly happy about changing my clothes in there, but fortunately nothing touched the ground and my feet never left my flip flops. Note to self: never use the bathroom at the station next to Fast Eddie's. EVER.
Act 3 - Haunted Alton Tour
I love the cartoon ghosts!
I'm so scurrred!
Ahhh, Alton, IL. Such a "lovely" little town. And apparently known for being "One of the Most Haunted Small Towns in America." Brenda and I were hoping for a little paranormal activity, but I'll be honest. If I actually saw a ghost or some kind of crazy sh*t happen, I would not be able to predict my reaction. No, wait, I could definitely predict that I'd scream and freak the eff out. This is why I do not watch scary movies. I do not like things appearing out of nowhere to scare the bejesus out of me. Alive or not. Which makes me wonder what in the heck I'm doing here in the first place. I'm not entirely sure what to believe when it comes to ghosts. The logical part of me says it'd be stupid not to believe that these things are possible, but my scaredy-cat part doesn't really want to actually see or witness them. Although the logical part does, so I can finally have a true answer and not some Hollywood hocus pocus. I realize I make no sense here, but deal with it.
So, we're headed to Alton to see if we see any ghosts roaming around or lurking in any darkened basements. Good times. Now, based on my last ghost hunting experience, I wouldn't actually see any ghosts, just "orbs" floating around. Which to me, is a total bummer. If I'm going to have my pants scared right off of me, it better be by something with a see-through body. Or at least that green slimy blob from Ghostbusters that eats leftover hotel food.
We arrived early and made sure we had a potty break before it began. There would be no stopping along the way and I didn't want a full bladder to worry about. That could be disastrous. In the meantime, the guides showed us a picture that someone took two nights before in the haunted church. Um, so yeah, there was a see-through person in the picture. And it wasn't photoshopped by some random person. Brenda's coworker was the one who took the photo. I'm a fairly trustworthy person, so I didn't really have any reason to believe it wasn't real. But I also don't like being hoodwinked, so I wasn't holding any judgment until I saw the church for myself. The guide assured us that ghosts are in the shape of people, not floating orbs. Sonofa, who the heck am I supposed to believe now? Good grief.
We set off shortly after 7 and was told we'd be doing quite a bit of walking and most of the tour would be outside. Our final two destinations would both be inside, one an old tunnel used to hide runaway slaves with the Underground Railroad and another an extremely haunted church. We. Couldn't. Wait. Our first stop was the site of the first penitentiary in the state of Illinois. And we soon realized that our guide LOVED telling stories. If you think my stories are long-winded (and I know you do), this guy puts me to shame. He proceeded to tell us all about how this prison held all kinds of dark and grisly deaths from overcrowding of Civil War Confederate prisoners to a small pox epidemic that quarantined prisoners and guards alike. There were so many people dying just from being around the remaining dead that they dug a giant hole within the prison grounds to dump the dead bodies into. And then they sent them downstream to an island in the Mississippi river, only to have them returned again to the prison site. I won't give away too many details, but it was kind of eerie to be out at night standing on the former site of this prison. Yeah, it's now a parking lot. Gotta love urban expansion. :)
Don't let the concrete stains fool you. Lots of people died under this parking lot.
Next we learned about The Mansion House where it is believed that an old Indian hunter, who was renting a room, was found dead in his room with his own hand around his neck. He had spent nearly every night there keeping the entire population awake with his screaming about the ghosts of all of the Indians he had killed that were coming back to take their revenge on him. So, at this point, I'm thinking, cool, we'll get to go see this place. Nope. It burned down in the last decade and nothing is left. Well, crap. Again, what good is the ghost story without the actual structure to back it up? Dangit.
I'm kind of beginning to wonder about this ghost tour, but we press on to the next location where a police officer vanished in front of a building during his night watch in the 1930s. Again, it's a chilling story of a guy who vanished and who's body was found a few days later showing a brutal murder. Our guide continues to tell us this story while standing on an empty lot. The building that this took place at was once again not there. So, 3 for 3. Don't get me wrong, I love a good story, but sonofabitch, I wanted to actually go inside and see some crazy stuff! Not see random lots where things used to happen.
Be careful. You could vanish from this very spot. Without a Trace. That sounds like a great title for a TV show. Wait......
Our guide then told of a story of one of his nightly tours and walking an entire group of people down a dark alley and right into the middle of a drug deal. Ah, good ol' Alton. We hiked up a steep alley and then another hill before our guide needed a moment's rest. He wasn't exactly agile nor in tip top shape. We waited for him to catch his breath to move on, but nope, he decided to tell us a story instead. Imagine that. But this time, the story was not about a ghost. Nope, it was about one of the tallest men in the world who happened to grow up in Alton. Yep, he wasted about 20 or so minutes of our time talking about this boy growing up and his trials and tribulations of life at growing to be over 8 feet tall. Fascinating stuff, if that's what you paid for. We did not. At one point, I looked at Brenda and said that an 8' tall ghost had better start walking down the sidewalk or I'm gonna start to get pissy.
Finally, our guide was ready to press on, but we stopped again for another history lesson. This time about one of Abe Lincoln's debates before he became President. There's a few statues close to the river depicting the legendary debate. But, nothing haunted about it. I'm thinking maybe this guy is a history professor in his "day job" and he was practicing for his Monday lecture or something. Get to the spooky stuff buddy!
Finally, FINALLY, he announced that we would be going into the first of our two buildings next. SWEEEEET! We walked up to a particulary spooky looking building and Brenda and I were so excited, we thought we might pee a little. It looked old and like something ominous had to have happened there. Come on buddy, quit the idle chit chat and let us go in.
Oh wait, we don't get to go in?
This building is from the World's Fair in St. Louis in 1904 and it was relocated to Alton because some rich dude liked it?
And now it houses a bunch of lawyers?
And there's no ghosts lurking around?
WTF.
My patience tends to wear thin when I feel like I'm being bamboozled, and I was starting to feel this way about this tour. Don't get me wrong, I loved the stories behind the hauntings, but I could have read those online. I didn't spend $25 to listen to some guy tell me something I could read myself.
As we rounded the next corner, the next house was visible. And it was pretty big. We found that this house was built by a family dedicated to helping escaped slaves reach their freedom in the north. There would be a tunnel in the basement that we'd get to see that the slaves used to hide from the Confederacy and it's followers. After the war was over and the house sold, it was turned into a tuberculosis hospital and the amount of people who died there was staggering.
It had been nearly 3 hours since our tour began and we'd finally get the chance for some real possible paranormal activity. Because of the small size of the tunnel, our guide broke us up into two groups to take us below. Fortunately, the current owners are pleasant and allow these tours to commence throughout the holiday season. We entered a door underneath the front porch and proceeded down a stairwell in the basement. Through two dingy rooms, we found the entrance to the Underground Railroad tunnel, and that was exactly what it was. Just a short tunnel with no windows or doors except the one entrance. I'm not sure exactly how it was hidden from random people, but I suppose the disguise was disgarded after the war.
We get to go inside! Wooooo!
The front door is pretty.
We filed into the tunnel one by one and then our guide proceeded to turn off the rest of the lights in the basement. One. By. One. Until it was pitch black with only the sound of shuffling feet of the group. Brenda freaked a little and grabbed onto my arm for reassurance that I was indeed a living breathing soul. I freaked some, but I just didn't let it out verbally. For some reason, I didn't want to touch the walls of the tunnel. Most people were leaning on them for support, but something freaked me out about touching the walls. I don't know what it was, but I just had a feeling that I shouldn't do it. The guide eventually turned the lights back on and gave us an opportunity to take a few pictures. He told us how sometimes people would see ghosts walking past the entrance while they were standing inside. No such luck for us. It was funny though, I was torn between wanting to look and hoping I'd see something, to refusing to look in case I actually saw something. I'm weird like that.
Why are you smiling Brenda?! There could be a ghost right behind you!
I finally touched the walls, but only in the light.
Looking out into the rest of the basement.
I thought if I turned off the flash, I might catch a glimpse of something.
Nice.
Random room in the basement. Again, I was hoping to catch something in the corner.
We stayed for a few more minutes to take pictures of the tunnel and the remaining rooms downstairs. I hoped something might happen, but eventually we made our way back to the surface to let the other group go down. While we waited, our other guide told us stories of people who rented the apartments in the building. Over the years, numerous people made claims of crazy sh*t happening, and then eventually breaking their leases and moving out. Some such things like keys and other items going missing, only to show up in other places hours or days later, a single knuckle rapping on a door to the basement, with no body on the other side to indicate where the knock came from, scraping and the sound of moving furniture and muffled noises coming from empty apartment. You know, the usual. I honestly don't think I could knowingly move into a building that has claims of hauntings. Whether it's true or not, I'd be scared shitless all the time. I'd either think it really was ghosts, or that some crazy serial killer was trying to break into my place. Either way, I'd never get any sleep.
Speaking of sleep, I was in desperate need of some, but I didn't want to miss out on the final stop on our tour. The First Unitarian Church. The place that Brenda's friend caught the ghost with his iPhone. Eventually we made our way down the street to this church and it definitely looked spooky outside. It could have been because it was 10:30 at night or because we knew that something lurked inside. We didn't spend too much time outside, as our guide wanted to tell us the story from inside the church. And, by the way, it's still a functioning church. He took a few volunteers in to make his nightly donation and then the rest of us filed in afterwards. It was dark and they were definitely going for the spook factor on this one.
Cuh. Reepy.
I was trying for a face in the window, but no luck.
So, the story goes that a beloved minister took his own life by hanging himself from one of the light fixtures. No one seems to know why, but apparently he was pretty pissed at life if he did that and continued to haunt the church for the rest of eternity. We made our way from the actual church pews into the adjoining room where the suicide took place. Our guide hadn't mentioned the light fixture at this point, all he said was that the minister was found hanging. He then asked us all if we had any idea where the body was found. For some reason, my mind went to that one light fixture. Everyone threw out guesses, but no one guessed that. Then, he revealed that it was the light fixture I was thinking of. Holy crap, I'm possessed! Ha, just kidding. I only thought that because he was standing nearly directly underneath it. I figured he had some kind of dramatic ending going on.
THE Light Fixture.
It wasn't this light in the church, my flash is just ridiculously bright.
One of the other guides stepped forward at this point and said that during one disturbing evening, she heard a man's whisper in her ear that said "Shut him up" during one of the storytelling sessions. Creepy? Perhaps. Although I wanted to say the same thing at least a dozen times during the tour, so I can't blame a ghost for wanting the same thing! If the minister really does lurk around, he's probably heard that same damn story a hundred times or more! Our first guide also told us about his wife coming along and feeling like she was being strangled at one point. They left the church and she had rope burns down her neck. Coincidence, who knows? But, given the current timing of being in the church, the lights being off and the stories, I was freaking myself out and kinda wanted to get the heck out of dodge. I took a gazillion pictures, hoping to catch the crazy lunatic wandering around, but I think the flash on my camera is too powerful. Or, you know, there really wasn't a ghost. Whatevs.
Finally after over 4 hours of wandering around, we finished the tour. Good grief! I was incredibly pooped.
Goodbye creepy church.
We headed back to St. Louis, 4 hours after our tour began, with no ghost sightings, but lots of knowledge about the bat shit crazy stuff that has gone down in Alton. Mental note: don't move there.
Thanks Brenda for going on our Fall "Date"!
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